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April 1999.

AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER


Starring Mike Myers, Beyoncé Knowles, Michael Caine,
Seth Green, Verne Troyer, Michael York and Mindy Sterling
Director Jay Roach
Canadian Rating 14A
Released by New Line Cinema - 07/02


In 1997’s “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery”, the original spy spoof about Britain’s grooviest secret agent, the best cameos that Mike Myers could muster were from Carrie Fisher and Tom Arnold. Now, in “Austin Powers in Goldmember”, it seems Hollywood’s best and brightest want a piece of the “Powers” phenonemon (and, make no mistake, it is a phenomenon). Myers employs a crew of A-list headliners so unbelievable that you may have to give your head a firm shake during the absolutely brilliant opening five minutes of “AP3”. To spoil these secrets would be a crime against humanity. The critics who have spilled the sacred beans deserve to be placed before a firing squad.

The first “Austin Powers” was something unique and funny; a low-budget comic gem with wit, charm and memorable characters like the titular ladies’ man, a swinging 60s spy with frilly clothes and sub-standard dental hygeine, and Dr. Evil, the pale, pinky-raising criminal mastermind who is forever surrounded by frickin’ idiots. Both characters were played by Mike Myers, who also co-wrote and produced. “Powers” gained a considerable fanbase on video, prompting the go-ahead for a sequel. “The Spy Who Shagged Me” met with box office returns that quadrupled those of its predecessor, and provided major laughs for fans, but as Mr. Powers’ mojo continued rising, there was an uneasy sensation that accompanied it. It was a feeling that Myers’ hilarious, lightweight original creation was now burning on all commercial cylinders, and becoming a stunt franchise instead of staying true to its roots. Today, the spirit of that little spy spoof Myers made in 1997 is gasping for breath, and “Goldmember” is not about to provide CPR. It is more of the same, and finds the series running out of steam. However, that being said, this new version of Austin Powers ain’t all bad. Myers and co-writer Michael McCullers deserve their props for giving fans what they want: hilarious gags and more of their beloved characters doing various funny things. “Goldmember” is sloppy and strained, but it’s also damned funny. I laughed my butt off, and in the end, all additional nitpicking may seem moot.

This time around, Dr. Evil (Myers) has concocted a diabolical plan to melt the polar ice caps using a sophisticated tractor beam, a scheme he refers to as ‘Preparation H’. Austin Powers (Myers again) must stop him. Now that I’ve covered the plot in full detail, I’ll move on to returning cast members. Dr. Evil’s evil cabinet still includes his ne’er-do-well son Scott (Seth Green), the loud and foreign Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling), morbidly obese Scotsman Fat Bastard (also Myers), pint-sized clone Mini-Me (Verne Troyer) and the head of his evil business empire, Number Two (Robert Wagner). Also (inexplicably) involved in the plot is an evil Dutch supergenius named Goldmember (yes.... Myers), who lost his genitalia in an “unfortunate smelting accident”, and whom Austin visits at a 1975 disco roller derby (dressed in full pimp get-up, I’ll have you know). The romantic interest is Foxxy Cleopatra (Destiny’s Child member Beyoncé Knowles, in her film debut), a sassy agent with an attitude and an afro. Much to my surprise, Knowles actually acquits herself quite well, with a fetching sweetness to match her gorgeous looks. “Goldmember” also introduces Michael Caine as Austin’s father, a spy legend in his own right. Caine, though not as snug in this role as one might have hoped, gets the funniest line in the movie when confronting the new supervillain: “There’s only two things I can’t stand: people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch.”

By now, the Austin Powers universe is so overpopulated that terrific additions like Wagner and Michael York (as British Intelligence chief honcho Basil Exposition) are benched, while Myers runs the court like a madman, mugging in his multiple roles to the absolute extreme. But I don’t mind. Myers is, after all, a mult-talented performer. It’s too bad his screenplay (a joint venture with long-time collaborator Michael McCullers) finds itself on spin cycle, reusing the same old jokes. Austin has fun with suggestive shadow puppets. Again. A radar screen picks up something that resembles a humorous body part. Again. Austin and Mini-Me duke it out. Again. At least Ozzie Osbourne makes a cameo appearance to point this out, saying “They’re just using the same (bleep) jokes over again!”

The elated comic high of the ingenious opening sequence gradually fades into oblivion, and the inspiration settles into redundant formula (Dr. Evil wants to take over the world! How original!). But Myers and company still manage to get in a few good licks. “Austin Powers in Goldmember” kept me heartily entertained. It’s only semi-groovy this time around, baby, but there is still enough muscle left in Austin’s mojo for a swinging good time.

©2003, 2002 Jamey Hughton
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