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April 1999.

THE CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE


Starring Steve Irwin, Terri Irwin
Director John Stainton
Canadian Classification PG
Released by MGM Pictures - 07/02

Crikey! Steve Irwin, star of the Discovery Channel TV series “The Crocodile Hunter”, now has his own movie! And it’s a beauty! Look at those fangs!

Oops, sorry. Watching “The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course”, you can’t help but give in to Irwin’s infectiously good-natured spirit and loopy, lovable persona, as he travels across the Australian outback and gets up close and personal with various insects, mammals and lizards that would make most ordinary blokes run away screaming. “Collision Course” curiously alternates between documentary-style footage of Steve and his wife Terri, trapping crocs and the like, to what you might describe as a, ummm, “plot”: CIA agents are on scrambling to find a downed satellite beacon that one of the scaly beasts has swallowed, and are headed to Australia to locate it. But no one really cares about that.

No, the Irwins deliver the fun whenever they occupy the screen. With his boundless enthusiasm and keen regard for habitat conservation, Steve is simply a wonder to behold for both entertainment and education purposes. That much of “Collision Course” follows the TV show verbatim is more of a blessing than a deterrent; sure, you could just have a three-episode “Crocodile Hunter” marathon at home and forego the rental price (and avoid the lame plot in doing so), but then again, the movie delivers a cute diversion when it doesn’t stray too far from Steve, Terri and their courageous dog Sui. In one scene, Steve is admiring a venomous bird-eating spider as he supports it on a flimsy piece of bark just inches from his face (he also feels compelled to show us its enormous fangs). In another scene, Steve cheerfully dangles a poisonous cobra from its tail-end as its head whips around, snapping just inches from his crotch (all the while marveling that the snake’s venom could kill “100 blokes my size!”). In a rather intense confrontation with a crocodile, Steve secures a rope around its jaws and takes a perch atop of his boat as the croc pulls them along, and there are echoes of the Robert Shaw character in “Jaws” (but on a dangerous caffeine high). This man is in constant peril (those are all real crocodiles he is wrestling), and yet he remains a dedicated entertainer. It’s hilarious.

“The Crocodile Hunter: Collision Course” is certainly not a good movie, but it’s surprisingly tolerable and often even playfully cute. Steve and Terri are admirable role models for youngsters, who are sure to get a real kick out of their outback adventures. It’s a shame director John Stainton felt obligated to comply with the old “insert plot here” guidelines for the insipid storyline. Otherwise, his movie is a real beauty!

©2003, 2002 Jamey Hughton
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